he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
