So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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