are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Randomize
