I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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