I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
