did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
