if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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