physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
