My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
