On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
