I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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