Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
