why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize