he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
