With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
