He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Pants are for mortals
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
