4 words: hood of his car
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can I color on your dick again?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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