Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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