fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
