i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
