I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
