Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
