I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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