Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
