Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
