I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
