the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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