i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
