apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize