My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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