I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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