how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
