One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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