Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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