I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize