I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
