I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
