their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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