He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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