Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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