i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
