Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
