i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
