yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
