worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize