It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
