the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
