I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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