your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
