that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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