Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
