its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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