He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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