Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
