So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
