We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
