should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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