i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
