We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
