Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
