i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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