Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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