hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize