She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
