He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
