Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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