You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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