Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
