How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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