quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
honey bunches of taint.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We need to get me chipped asap
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
