I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
