she was so not down for the gang bang
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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