I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All the doctor said was why
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
