I'm eating all of the evidence.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
